[Leaning is good. She can handle that.] It's a deal.
And Winn, I am sorry. Just...for anytime I've ever made you feel like I don't trust you. Thank you for understanding and wanting to be a team through it. That means everything to me.
Thanks. [ it feels nice, to be acknowledged, to be apologized to, like he actually matters. he's still not used to it, which makes him appreciate it all the more. ]
I'm sorry too, I know it's not coming out of a void, I have bad reactions sometimes. I'm trying to work on it. I want to be better, I really do. I just...want to be someone you can believe in, as much as I believe in you.
For what it's worth there's no one I wanted to see more after leaving the Bloodsport tonight even though I knew it would be hard for both of us. [She didn't know it would be this hard but she figured things would come up in one way or another even if it was just Winn's fears.]
[Probably. But the only people she could think to send him to would be Beverly or Simon for medical needs and then Charles for mental, but a telepath is pretty extreme and she isn't sure she trusts enough for that to really help her. It's a lot to suggest.
She lifts her head up and kisses his cheek before she steps back toward the bed, pulling him along and not bothering to take her clothes off or change out of them.]
[ he isn't ready for a telepath, and in any case - he doesn't think it will help him, either. he needs someone to teach him how to talk, how to open up, not take away the necessity because they have an open line directly into his head.
[She likes that correction as she nuzzles in against his neck and breathes deeply.] I like us. [They have their problems. Things usually get worse before they get better. But then they get back to this and it's reassuring.]
[ considering their environment and how quick they got close, this was bound to happen eventually, it's amazing it took them this long to start having problems. but they don't break them, and that feels good. this is the most open he's ever been in a relationship, romantic or otherwise. ]
Me too.
[ he strokes her hair, it's practically reflex by now. ]
[It's a good reflex.] Mmmm... I could fall asleep like this. [Except that's no feat. She only has trouble sleeping without him. He's the one who can't escape his own mind.]
I don't know, Winn. It's kind of weird that you want to think of me as your fun big brother. [Or dad, but she doesn't repeat that part because she's a little surprised he can talk about dads casually.]
he was so happy about it at first, but what kind of big brother is he if he can't be in the same room as sascha? he was so focused on helping sascha find his way back and now he has. it means there's nothing left to distract him from the problem of finding his own way back, and that just feels like a gaping abyss. ]
[That is extremely relaxing and she could drift off to sleep right now, but she hears something kind of sad in that yeah's undertone.] I do that too. Orphan thing I guess.
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Date: 2016-08-22 05:23 am (UTC)[ he scooches a little closer to her, leaning on her a little more - physically as well as metaphorically. ]
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Date: 2016-08-22 05:26 am (UTC)And Winn, I am sorry. Just...for anytime I've ever made you feel like I don't trust you. Thank you for understanding and wanting to be a team through it. That means everything to me.
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Date: 2016-08-22 05:30 am (UTC)I'm sorry too, I know it's not coming out of a void, I have bad reactions sometimes. I'm trying to work on it. I want to be better, I really do. I just...want to be someone you can believe in, as much as I believe in you.
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Date: 2016-08-22 05:35 am (UTC)For what it's worth there's no one I wanted to see more after leaving the Bloodsport tonight even though I knew it would be hard for both of us. [She didn't know it would be this hard but she figured things would come up in one way or another even if it was just Winn's fears.]
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Date: 2016-08-22 05:42 am (UTC)[ he means it, too. holding her, he just runs his fingers quietly through her hair for a moment. ]
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Date: 2016-08-22 05:45 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2016-08-22 05:48 am (UTC)[ was he on the verge of a panic attack or something worse? he should probably get himself properly checked out. ]
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Date: 2016-08-22 05:53 am (UTC)She lifts her head up and kisses his cheek before she steps back toward the bed, pulling him along and not bothering to take her clothes off or change out of them.]
I am good at those. Sometimes.
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Date: 2016-08-22 06:02 am (UTC)[ he isn't ready for a telepath, and in any case - he doesn't think it will help him, either. he needs someone to teach him how to talk, how to open up, not take away the necessity because they have an open line directly into his head.
he follows along, curling up close to her. ]
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Date: 2016-08-22 01:05 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2016-08-22 01:10 pm (UTC)Me too.
[ he strokes her hair, it's practically reflex by now. ]
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Date: 2016-08-22 01:15 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2016-08-22 01:17 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2016-08-22 01:23 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2016-08-22 01:27 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2016-08-22 11:30 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2016-08-23 03:58 am (UTC)he rolls his eyes affectionately. ]
I never hid my weirdness, it's a little to come complaining about it.
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Date: 2016-08-23 04:00 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2016-08-23 04:11 am (UTC)[ jim berates him about his lack of athletic ability. ]
This is good.
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Date: 2016-08-23 12:14 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2016-08-23 12:18 pm (UTC)[ he settles in quietly, just stroking her hair.
he was so happy about it at first, but what kind of big brother is he if he can't be in the same room as sascha? he was so focused on helping sascha find his way back and now he has. it means there's nothing left to distract him from the problem of finding his own way back, and that just feels like a gaping abyss. ]
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Date: 2016-08-23 12:24 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2016-08-23 12:26 pm (UTC)[ he smiles sadly and kisses the top of her head. ]
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Date: 2016-08-23 12:33 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2016-08-23 12:37 pm (UTC)I'm good. With what we got. It's a quality family.
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