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[winn]

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[winn]

[ he smiles a little, shaking his head ]

I know it's counter-intuitive, but you can do both. Look, I'm never gonna be...used to dealing with danger. If something like this happens again, I'm gonna be upset and I'm gonna fall hard and I'm gonna lash out - that's the - I'm not a superhero part of things. But -- when the smoke clears, I still want to be someone you rely on. I'd rather worry when I should than worry all the time because I don't know if I should or shouldn't be worrying. I know it's a fine line and we're gonna fall on both sides of it - a lot. I just hate feeling like I'm untrustworthy to you.

[ he reaches for her hand. ]

I can do that. We both need to be better at communicating - we know that about ourselves. But we didn't do too bad today, did we?

[passingthrough]

[She threads their fingers together.] That makes sense. [And it does. No reservations this time.]

We did pretty okay. [She manages a little smile.] So, visiting Sascha again, you want me to tell you first and text while I'm there?

[winn]

Yes please. You don't have to say anything, I'll take just - any sign of life.

[ he scooches a little closer to her, leaning on her a little more - physically as well as metaphorically. ]

[passingthrough]

[Leaning is good. She can handle that.] It's a deal.

And Winn, I am sorry. Just...for anytime I've ever made you feel like I don't trust you. Thank you for understanding and wanting to be a team through it. That means everything to me.

[winn]

Thanks. [ it feels nice, to be acknowledged, to be apologized to, like he actually matters. he's still not used to it, which makes him appreciate it all the more. ]

I'm sorry too, I know it's not coming out of a void, I have bad reactions sometimes. I'm trying to work on it. I want to be better, I really do. I just...want to be someone you can believe in, as much as I believe in you.

[passingthrough]

Thank you. And I know you're working on it.

For what it's worth there's no one I wanted to see more after leaving the Bloodsport tonight even though I knew it would be hard for both of us. [She didn't know it would be this hard but she figured things would come up in one way or another even if it was just Winn's fears.]

[winn]

It's worth a lot.

[ he means it, too. holding her, he just runs his fingers quietly through her hair for a moment. ]

[passingthrough]

[She rests her head on his shoulder and enjoys the closeness.] Curl up in bed with me?

[winn]

I think that's a good idea.

[ was he on the verge of a panic attack or something worse? he should probably get himself properly checked out. ]

[passingthrough]

[Probably. But the only people she could think to send him to would be Beverly or Simon for medical needs and then Charles for mental, but a telepath is pretty extreme and she isn't sure she trusts enough for that to really help her. It's a lot to suggest.

She lifts her head up and kisses his cheek before she steps back toward the bed, pulling him along and not bothering to take her clothes off or change out of them.]

I am good at those. Sometimes.

[winn]

Usually.

[ he isn't ready for a telepath, and in any case - he doesn't think it will help him, either. he needs someone to teach him how to talk, how to open up, not take away the necessity because they have an open line directly into his head.

he follows along, curling up close to her. ]

[passingthrough]

[She likes that correction as she nuzzles in against his neck and breathes deeply.] I like us. [They have their problems. Things usually get worse before they get better. But then they get back to this and it's reassuring.]

[winn]

[ considering their environment and how quick they got close, this was bound to happen eventually, it's amazing it took them this long to start having problems. but they don't break them, and that feels good. this is the most open he's ever been in a relationship, romantic or otherwise. ]

Me too.

[ he strokes her hair, it's practically reflex by now. ]

[passingthrough]

[It's a good reflex.] Mmmm... I could fall asleep like this. [Except that's no feat. She only has trouble sleeping without him. He's the one who can't escape his own mind.]

[winn]

Go for it. [ he smiles softly ] Sleep's good for you. Just ask Jim, he can't shut up about it. [ fondly ]

[passingthrough]

I'm glad he's the nagging wife so I can just be the fun one.

[winn]

Yeah - I'm much more comfortable with the nagging big brother. Or dad.

[passingthrough]

I don't know, Winn. It's kind of weird that you want to think of me as your fun big brother. [Or dad, but she doesn't repeat that part because she's a little surprised he can talk about dads casually.]

[winn]

[ it's a weird disconnect and over-connect that somehow coexist peacefully

he rolls his eyes affectionately. ]

I never hid my weirdness, it's a little to come complaining about it.

[passingthrough]

[She kisses his jaw.] Is this good or do you want to throw the old ball around?

[winn]

I already have a mean big brother.

[ jim berates him about his lack of athletic ability. ]

This is good.

[passingthrough]

Look at you gathering family. [She tucks herself in closer to him.]

[winn]

Yeah.

[ he settles in quietly, just stroking her hair.

he was so happy about it at first, but what kind of big brother is he if he can't be in the same room as sascha? he was so focused on helping sascha find his way back and now he has. it means there's nothing left to distract him from the problem of finding his own way back, and that just feels like a gaping abyss. ]

[passingthrough]

[That is extremely relaxing and she could drift off to sleep right now, but she hears something kind of sad in that yeah's undertone.] I do that too. Orphan thing I guess.

[winn]

Must be.

[ he smiles sadly and kisses the top of her head. ]