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Winn Schott
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takingkarabusiness - [video]- notzubats - Text; Oh god I'm so sorry
- partialities - voice »
- passingthrough - March 2, finding Winn
- passingthrough - March 9
- passingthrough - March 13
- ecclesiophobic - March 14
- passingthrough - Action
- robitussin - text;
- passingthrough - [Video] October 1
- passingthrough - [video] March 1
- passingthrough - [video] April 1
- passingthrough - [video] May 11
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- Base style: Marginless by momijizukamori and branchandroot
- Theme: Blue Lights by krja
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[video]
Date: 2017-02-01 07:26 pm (UTC)Winn, hey! Seems like I might need a bit of a recharge, which is fundamentally ironic given the fact that apparently I slept long enough to wear my powers off? But okay whatever, weird space reality tv show.
[action]
Date: 2017-02-01 07:30 pm (UTC)Kara! [ his face lights up at the sight of her - she's really awake!! he runs to her side, and hope you were ready for some hugging because you are getting them either way, missy!! ] How're you feeling? Thirsty? Hungry? Smothered?
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Date: 2017-02-01 07:32 pm (UTC)Well, I'll probably need a few more minutes until I feel smothered but I am hungry and thirsty...
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Date: 2017-02-01 07:35 pm (UTC)I got you covered - [ he reaches for her bedside table where he left a bottle of water and a couple packs of vending machine snacks for exactly this moment. oh wait that probably means he should let go.
he pulls back a little and hands her the water and one of the snacks, and sits on her bed right in front of her.
he's just going to be casually staring at her for a while, no big deal. he's really happy right now. ]
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From:Text; Oh god I'm so sorry
Date: 2017-02-09 05:56 pm (UTC)hey Wwinn! it's sora. im so sorry, did you still wanna try out the warp band? really sorry it took so long!
oh- and mon-el and i were wondering - do you know anything about making hoverboards?
Text; pft don't worry about it happens to me all the time <3
Date: 2017-02-09 06:01 pm (UTC)I got ideas
Text; <33
Date: 2017-02-09 06:35 pm (UTC)i got the warp band, and we can use simba to test it on. so whenever you want, i can bring it over!
Text;
Date: 2017-02-09 06:36 pm (UTC)Text;
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From:voice »
Date: 2017-02-16 05:17 pm (UTC)[ and then, a breath; as if she has meant to say something and regretted it. No, not like this. it is best not to worry. ]
I wonder if you are not indisposed, I would speak to you of a matter that has recently become quite important.
[ and perhaps there's something rushed in how she speaks, it's the first sign of concern and it changes her voice entirely, less bright, more serious. ]
voice »
Date: 2017-02-16 05:19 pm (UTC)Your room?
voice »
Date: 2017-02-16 05:22 pm (UTC)[ it's important, in any game, to remember one's advantage over the other. this is not king's landing, the only ears in the walls are the Atroma's not the Queen Regeant's. Information is safe here or as safe as it can be when everyone is always observed by others.
Cersei Lannister is as trapped as Margaery, away from her children.
it's what scares her the most. This is not a person to back into a corner and the Atroma haven't been wise enough to understand that. ]
voice » action
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From:March 2, finding Winn
Date: 2017-03-02 03:40 pm (UTC)It isn't long at all before she returns with a tray full of Jarvis-cooked breakfast food. It wasn't a waffle morning, but she secured one of those too. She even decorated it with fruit from the ring world to look like a smile. He's still asleep, so she decides to go ahead and wake him.]
Happy Fleetaversary!
[And nothing. No sleepy smile. No teasing. No puns. No movement of any kind.]
Winn?
[She sets the tray down and moves toward him. Her voice is more uneasy this time.] Winn! [She shakes his shoulder and still nothing. Her hands move again, this time checking his pulse. Strong. She's seen this before of course, but it already happened once. Why is it happening again? Why does that make it seem so much more unfair? Or is it just that she wants to be angry at something—anything—so she doesn't have to feel so terrified? It's not even the worry that he'll come back to her remembering another girl right now. It's just...what if he doesn't wake up at all? What if he's just gone?]
Come on, I can't eat all of this by myself. You have to wake up. [Forehead resting against his.] I can't do this without you. [Not about the breakfast.]
March 9
Date: 2017-03-14 03:27 am (UTC)I got you something. I don't suppose you want to wake up to see what it is. No, huh? [Her voice is wavering and there's a slight tremor rolling through her body, but she's okay. Of course she's okay. Winn is in a coma. Kurt is in a coma. She hasn't been sleeping. She's barely been eating, but it's fine. She just keeps putting one foot in front of the other and she keeps moving forward.]
Wake up. [Softly.]
Wake up! [Louder.]
Kurt's asleep so if you are too then who's going to tell me it's going to be okay? [Lots of people have been telling her. The problem is that she doesn't believe it. She's seen the worst happen so many times. Defeat snatched from the jaws of victory over and over again.] Tell me it's okay. Tell me... [She cuts herself off as the crying starts and she crawls into bed with her comatose boyfriend, pressing her face in against him to muffle the sound and holding him close as she lets it out. And finally she manages to cry herself to sleep.]
March 13
Date: 2017-03-14 03:35 am (UTC)Kurt's awake again. He's much better at this coma thing than you are. Or worse depending on how you look at it.
He said something kind of ridiculous that isn't really worth trying and probably includes some consent issues, but your girlfriend misses you and is kind of desperate to have you back so...
[She shifts and then leans in and very gently presses her lips to his to try out this love's true kiss theory. Aaaaaaaaand nothing. Nothing other than remembering how much she misses their intimacy and connection.]
Yeah, I didn't think so. Sleeping Beauty and Snow White are also both better at this than you. [She leans in again, this time kissing him on the forehead and fussing with his blankets before she leaves.]
March 14
Date: 2017-03-14 09:37 pm (UTC)He looms like that for nearly a minute, neither blinking nor moving, before deigning to speak.] You'd better wake up, Winn. You've got competition again, and this one's Russian. Kitty's a loyal woman, but she always did have a weakness for the accent. So get your ass up and remind Kitty why she loves you.
[Kurt doesn't expect that to work, but he still watches the other man's face for any sort of reaction, his tail winding around his own ankles. Seeing none, his lips press together tightly.] Arschloch. [Resting a knee against the edge of the bed, Kurt leans over to whisper in the sleeping man's ear.] I didn't confide in you like that for you to slip away from us. If I come in here one day and you're gone back home, I'll tear this universe down to get Kitty back to you. So you better fucking wake up. [Kurt leans back, swallowing heavily around the sudden lump in his throat. A second later he teleports, leaving a cloud of brimstone behind.]
Action
Date: 2017-03-24 04:21 am (UTC)She just feels hopeless in this moment. She's been telling both of them that they just need time. That it will work out and get better and that they will all get along eventually and she's glad to have Chekov here and that she loves Winn without question. But after hearing that her faith in recovery is shaken. She feels like anything she does or doesn't do is going to hurt Chekov more and she fears hurting Winn in the process of trying not to hurt Chekov. And it's messy and complicated and it's not fair.
Weren't the odds with them just this once? Couldn't they get the good things without the bad? No one made any mistakes here. No one did anything wrong. They've been manipulated and pitted against each other by the wardens and now the Atroma and she doesn't want to give them the satisfaction of letting it cause drama or tears and yet it all just feels so hard. She doesn't know what to say to Chekov about any of that. How could she make any of it even a little better? And she feels selfish because she wishes he hadn't told her, but as long as she's wishing she wishes she had just left when she left or that he was from day 360 too. Or anything that isn't this gnawing, useless, helpless pain inside.
The communicator shuts off and she doesn't move from where she is, just shaking out her sobs. She doesn't even hear the door open.]
Action
Date: 2017-03-24 10:33 am (UTC)[ his heart sinks to his toes when he hears that sobbing, and turning, kicking the door shut behind him, he looks for the source of the sound.
he's never seen kitty like this and he would give anything he's got to keep it from ever happening again - but that's not how that works, and he doesn't have time for pointless thoughts about the future right now, all that matters is the present, and in the present he rushes to her side, sinking to the floor beside her, pulling her into his arms in a protective hug. he knows she's not physically harmed, it's not that kind of crying, she's not holding onto any particular body part and besides - kitty can handle pain better than that. it doesn't take a genius to figure out this is probably about chekov, and he's scared. he's terrified. did he cost her her fried? is she crying because she realizes she has to end things now?
it doesn't matter. not right this second. all that matters is holding her close. ]
I'm here. I got you.
Action
Date: 2017-03-24 01:21 pm (UTC)Hi. [She knows more needs to be said, but part of it is just trying out her voice again.]
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From:text;
Date: 2017-03-27 02:08 am (UTC)oh my god oh my god oh my GOD you're the BEST
how long did it take you?? how did you make it?? ahhhhhh thank you so much oh my god you're the best
text;
Date: 2017-03-27 06:27 am (UTC)I take it you like it. you're super welcome! :D
that's not in place of your birthday present, still working on that, btw
[ he knows how worried she is about that, yep. ]
don't let belthazar fool you he picked up a lot of slack when I took my extended nap. is it good? never made a piano before
text;
Date: 2017-03-27 06:33 am (UTC)on a related note what the hell this is the best present you don't have to get me anything else?? it sounds amazing seriously
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From:[Video] October 1
Date: 2017-10-01 01:22 am (UTC)[She pauses. It might seem like it's to gather her thoughts, but if he could hear this, which he can't, he'd know it's because if she keeps going her voice will falter, overwhelmed with emotion. She needs a minute to reign it in.]
But all these months later you're still the last thing I think about before I go to bed and the first person I think of when I wake up. So finding out I was asleep for two months means I had to hope. And I had to check.
[Softer.] I love you, Winn. Wherever you are.
[video] March 1
Date: 2018-03-01 05:11 pm (UTC)I don't know if you'll ever get these if you do come back or if they're going out to a live feed for the Atroma or if I'm just talking. I'm not even sure what's best. Probably not the Atroma one.
Anyway... I almost left you a message on your birthday. I decided to get very drunk instead. Try not to scroll back through the network. It was messy. You're scrolling right now aren't you? [There's a flicker of a smile. It's a nice thought that he could be back reading this.] I thought about it again on Valentine's Day, but Chekov wanted to meet up. And no, it was not a date. I'm not dating him or anyone else. He was just worried about a repeat of your birthday probably. This isn't about him. I'm getting sidetracked. [Like she's arguing an old issue that isn't even relevant with him gone. But he never really feels gone to her.]
Tomorrow is the day we met. Remember? I said my name is Lose and you told me I was better than a show pony. Yeah, I may have listened to that conversation once or twice or sixty times since you've been gone. Hard to say. Who counts? You were so cute. Are. You are cute. Wherever you are.
I think I figured out what makes these days harder. It's not that it makes me think of you, because... [Her voice dips out and she takes a moment to get herself back and track. Not going to cry.] Because a day hasn't gone by that I haven't thought about you. These days just make me feel like maybe this is when you'll come back to me. I mean, if this whole thing is a reality show what better timing to reunite us, right? And then the day comes and goes and it doesn't happen and...it sucks. Every day that you don't come back sucks.
I'm going to figure it out. I'm getting lots of practice. Next is April 1st. Our first kiss and also make out session in a janitor's closet, but it sounds classier as first kiss. April 22nd was our first dance. Also the having of sex, but again, classy. May 11th, the anniversary of losing you. We were together 405 days. Which makes June 21 the day I'll officially have lost you longer than I had you. I mean unless you count it back from the day we met, but that's probably enough heartbreak math. I think I already proved the point that I need a hobby. [Too much thinking about something that hurts. Maybe she's pushing through it this way, but it's a long damn march.]
I don't know. Maybe it's better if you don't get this. I don't want you to feel bad and you probably will because I know how much you'd want me to be happy. This isn't your fault. Please don't ever think that or think that I think that.
I hope you're safe and happy wherever you are. Is it another place like this? Did they take your memories or make you cuddle someone to keep your world alive? Is it National City after all? Are you in those tanks I saw back in Marina when we were in cold storage? I guess if you were here you wouldn't be listening to all this. You'd just be holding me and I'd be holding you and we'd get to the answers eventually. That sounds nice. [Getting choked up again.]
I'm just rambling now. I should probably stop. It's just...I miss talking to you, so it's hard to stop. [But she's clearly getting close to tears.] Okay, I'm cutting this off.
I love you.
[Shutting it off in a rush after that.]
[video] April 1
Date: 2018-04-04 04:14 pm (UTC)Happy anniversary to us. Happy anniversary to us. Happy anniversary to uuuuuuUUuuusss. Happy anniversary to us. [She finishes singing and leans in to blow out the candle.]
Do you think the Atroma have to pay for the rights to that song even though I changed it? Kind of hoping yes. Also, I realize this isn't standard anniversary fare, but this isn't really a standard anniversary, is it? [After all, those celebrate how long people have been together and they've been apart a lot more than they've been together this year. At leas physically. He's still very much in her heart which is why she's doing this. That and she needs it for her own catharsis.
She's also thought about admitting some of the things that have happened with Sam while he was glitched. With Vash which maybe can't be written off as easily as one drunk kiss even though there hasn't been more either. But those feel like conversations to have in person. Things she'd love nothing more than to be able to work out with him or not even be able to think about because he was there. And they really aren't good anniversary talk. "Hi, Winn, my life feels messy and confusing and lacking without you" is true, but not exactly celebratory.]
I found funnel cake which is probably the best thing about this planet you would be happy to miss. There's a whole fair set up even if it's not nearly as nice as the hand-holding planet. [Still one of her favorite stops even if they did fight there. Even if he did fall into a coma. It was a beautiful place and she felt so close to him and it was scary and messy in it's own way, but it probably helped them in the long run.]
And yes, I got you another present, but I'm not telling you what it is unless you show up, so you know, incentive. [She gives the camera a little smile and then looks away, feeling strange doing this to an audience of...well, probably just the Atroma and their viewers if they exist.]
I'm hoping it's not too morose to spend today telling you what I miss most about you. I mean other than everything and everything times infinity times another infinity to the infinity power.
I miss your hands. I miss how I could tell what you were feeling just by the way you'd touch the small of my back or hold my hand or brush back my hair. They were very communicative, those hands. And warm and gentle. And they were talented and I don't just mean the dirty stuff, mister! That stuff too though. Definitely. [Little smile.] But all the things you created with them—the tech, the origami, the clothes. Your mind and heart led the charge on all of it, but your hands did a lot of the heavy lifting and they aren't the kind of hands you get to hold every day. [Nope, nope, no crying.]
You know, I needed Kurt to help sew up some clothes for me recently, because I was a cat person for a few days so there was a tail and clothes plus tail are awkward. [She laughs a little.] How often can you just drop being a cat person briefly into conversation and the other person will totally get that it was real? It was strange. Not as strange as being in a guy's body though. I'm not sure what that says. But as expert as Kurt is when it comes to modifying clothes for tails it did feel really wrong not to have you there for it. I mean, not to help me with chores but just the sharing of everything I guess.
I miss your eyes too. Every time I looked at them I couldn't help but to see all this enormous love you had not just for me—although that was huge and it meant everything to me—but for life and other people and the things you enjoyed and felt passionate about. I feel like you'd be a terrible poker player with those eyes. Even if you could probably count cards and make up for it. They were also so attentive. It always felt like you really saw me and still wanted to see more. Even through the mistakes and the dark parts and even when you looked at me with hurt and anger I still felt the love somehow.
I miss your arms and the way they'd hold me. They weren't the biggest, bulkiest, or strongest arms in the galaxy, but they were the most powerful. They were the safest ones to be in. The ones that made me happiest.
I couldn't... [Her words slip as emotion tries to take over again. She lets out a breath and thinks through what she wants to say so she can get it out.] I couldn't miss you this much if I hadn't been that happy with you.
[There's more. There's always more. But she can't keep it together, so the wrap up.]
I should probably eat this funnel cake before it gets stale. You wouldn't want me committing crime against funnel cake. [She smiles with all the love and longing and probably some of the hurting she can't hide.]
I love you, Winn.
[She blows him a kiss which seems silly, but it felt so necessary in the moment before she turns it off.]
[video] May 11
Date: 2018-05-20 04:49 pm (UTC)Officially our worst anniversary. The one where I realize it's been an entire year since I last woke up beside you. No gifts for this one. This one doesn't give. It takes.
[Seeker nuzzles in closer and whimpers slightly as she strokes his fur, looking down to him for a moment.] It's okay, boy.
I'm not leaving this one to tell you how much I miss you. I do. Obviously. This is the one where... [She hesitates, wanting to back out.] Where I tell you I'm moving on. I don't exactly know how or when or what that's going to look like, but I am going to try because life's too short to spend it alone and because...I don't think you'd want me too. I hope you aren't. I hope you are somewhere safe and good with someone who loves you as much as you love them. You deserve that. You more than deserve that and you will always be one of the best parts of my life.
[The crying is back. Of course it is. She just lets them stream down her cheeks unbidden as she continues to comfort and take comfort in the pup.]
And if I'm wrong, and you hate this idea then please come stop me. [She lets out a sound that exists somewhere between a laugh and a sob.] You know where to find me. [Except that he doesn't. If he was home with all those resources and a memory of her he would have found her. She's tried desperately to find him, working off his notes and adding her own and building things from parts she's found scattered across the galaxy and none of it feels like it's gotten her any closer in all this time.]
Okay, that's all I needed to say. [Most of the messages she's left have been as much if not more about him and what she thought he needed even if they were absolutely catharsis for her too. This one has been more about what she needs to release the guilt she feels about even considering herself somehow single while her heart is still so much with him. It doesn't stop her from ending it the same way she always has.]
I love you, Winn. [But with a little something extra even if her voice shakes a bit through the words.] Good bye.