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Whatever he did to Caitlin - she was scared out of her mind every moment she spent here. That's enough for me to want to kick this guy's ass.
[ so tired of evil speedsters. ]
So here's what we have - my vibes are working-ish, we have Caitlin's notes, we have Hank who has an augment for the lab so if I can just think like Caitlin, I know that'll be enough.
[ since he knows no one is going to stop obsessing about it, the least he can do is help so they can get actual progress ]
That stepford jerk Diamond said the devices on the ship made sure the Atroma can't get talk to us but they were able to mess with your friend's augment or -
[ he takes out another notebook ]
the augment is messing with itself. I looked back into Diamond's recording, remember the static that came before it? the think blocked the frequencies. If I can somehow get to its drive and get the frequencies the Atroma use, we might be able to use their own channels against them. Sort of like Independence Day, if you know what I mean.
[ .... ]
I can't believe I'm saying this, but I could have really used a word with the multiverse's biggest dick Hartley Rathaway right about now. This is his field of work.
[ so tired of evil speedsters. ]
So here's what we have - my vibes are working-ish, we have Caitlin's notes, we have Hank who has an augment for the lab so if I can just think like Caitlin, I know that'll be enough.
[ since he knows no one is going to stop obsessing about it, the least he can do is help so they can get actual progress ]
That stepford jerk Diamond said the devices on the ship made sure the Atroma can't get talk to us but they were able to mess with your friend's augment or -
[ he takes out another notebook ]
the augment is messing with itself. I looked back into Diamond's recording, remember the static that came before it? the think blocked the frequencies. If I can somehow get to its drive and get the frequencies the Atroma use, we might be able to use their own channels against them. Sort of like Independence Day, if you know what I mean.
[ .... ]
I can't believe I'm saying this, but I could have really used a word with the multiverse's biggest dick Hartley Rathaway right about now. This is his field of work.
And you will.
[ with certainty. he may not be certain about a lot of things anymore, but whether they break out or cisco gets sent back - eventually he'll go home, he has to believe that, at least. and at home, he'll conquer, because there'll be no atroma in his way. he's seen what his friend can do when tethered, so unleashed? he definitely wouldn't want to piss him off.
of all the things cisco is saying it's your friend that makes winn tense. ]
Hermione might be able to help with that - potions are a kind of chemistry, aren't they?
[ he wants to help, but he can't. he doesn't know what he's doing, and he's already as involved as he can get with sascha. it's bad enough sitting in his room trying to research how to cease endless hunger, if he has to sit with samples of his poison and study just how lethal he really is he may never sleep again. ]
I wouldn't trust anything she says, they can just as easily cause static and not contact us until we've dismantled the devices, but I'm with you on the frequency search - I've been trying to find some way back to the source since day one. The money trail leads nowhere or - if it does - [ he pats the back of his head at his augment ] that's blocking me, and I can't find any camera signals to tap into other than our own comms. I did record as much data as I could on the scrambler or whatever that was that was on the Tourist, but I couldn't risk leaving it on for too long to try anything, in case it shut us down.
[ shaking his head, there's none of his usual excitement present, in fact, there's an air of defeat about him as he speaks. he hasn't touched the research to go home since the attack, he's been too afraid to. but he can't leave cisco and hank alone on the battlefield, and he can't let the atroma win.
he hesitates. if he shares his notes with cisco, isn't he just putting his friend in more danger? but he already warned his friend about it and he said he was in. if he didn't want to be in, he wouldn't have presented him with his theories.
so he pulls the notebook from under his mattress and hands it to cisco. ]
That's all the data I compiled while it was still attached. I dunno, maybe something here will help us figure out what makes it tick. I may not be the multiverse's biggest dick - but signals and frequencies are kinda my thing.
[ with certainty. he may not be certain about a lot of things anymore, but whether they break out or cisco gets sent back - eventually he'll go home, he has to believe that, at least. and at home, he'll conquer, because there'll be no atroma in his way. he's seen what his friend can do when tethered, so unleashed? he definitely wouldn't want to piss him off.
of all the things cisco is saying it's your friend that makes winn tense. ]
Hermione might be able to help with that - potions are a kind of chemistry, aren't they?
[ he wants to help, but he can't. he doesn't know what he's doing, and he's already as involved as he can get with sascha. it's bad enough sitting in his room trying to research how to cease endless hunger, if he has to sit with samples of his poison and study just how lethal he really is he may never sleep again. ]
I wouldn't trust anything she says, they can just as easily cause static and not contact us until we've dismantled the devices, but I'm with you on the frequency search - I've been trying to find some way back to the source since day one. The money trail leads nowhere or - if it does - [ he pats the back of his head at his augment ] that's blocking me, and I can't find any camera signals to tap into other than our own comms. I did record as much data as I could on the scrambler or whatever that was that was on the Tourist, but I couldn't risk leaving it on for too long to try anything, in case it shut us down.
[ shaking his head, there's none of his usual excitement present, in fact, there's an air of defeat about him as he speaks. he hasn't touched the research to go home since the attack, he's been too afraid to. but he can't leave cisco and hank alone on the battlefield, and he can't let the atroma win.
he hesitates. if he shares his notes with cisco, isn't he just putting his friend in more danger? but he already warned his friend about it and he said he was in. if he didn't want to be in, he wouldn't have presented him with his theories.
so he pulls the notebook from under his mattress and hands it to cisco. ]
That's all the data I compiled while it was still attached. I dunno, maybe something here will help us figure out what makes it tick. I may not be the multiverse's biggest dick - but signals and frequencies are kinda my thing.
hey winn are you still doing the lecture things can i do one about modern warfare tactics cause it's super interesting????
Edited (F u Swype) 2016-08-17 02:30 (UTC)
[He'll find this during her birthday party at one of the times when they are separated in different parts of the ship with different people.]
I love you, Winn Schott. You're smart, funny, handsome, thoughtful, and incredibly sexy. Don't let the sheer volume of compliments make you think any of them aren't valid. You just have a lot going for you even if you don't see it. You made me fall in love again when I didn't see it happening. I always want you to feel safe, happy, and loved. You deserve that and a lot more.
I love you, Winn Schott. You're smart, funny, handsome, thoughtful, and incredibly sexy. Don't let the sheer volume of compliments make you think any of them aren't valid. You just have a lot going for you even if you don't see it. You made me fall in love again when I didn't see it happening. I always want you to feel safe, happy, and loved. You deserve that and a lot more.
okay that sounds good let me know when so i can be ready i don't know about a name just the topic is probably right it isn't like a fancy thing
[Kitty is back on the Tourist after visiting Sascha—who is really Sascha again—on the Bloodsport. She didn't tell Winn she was going there. Just that she needed to go out for a little while which isn't that much of a surprise. She doesn't handle being confined on a ship well. She's always had the power to move through anything and she still can, but since being in space isn't the best of ideas, she tends to feel trapped if she isn't moving from ship to ship and she hasn't been doing much of that since Winn's attack.
But it wasn't a case of feeling stir crazy that sent her on today's mission. She just had to see him for himself. Make sure he was back to how he had been. And he was. And it broke her heart.
She makes her way through the Tourist to find Winn, wanting to see him.]
But it wasn't a case of feeling stir crazy that sent her on today's mission. She just had to see him for himself. Make sure he was back to how he had been. And he was. And it broke her heart.
She makes her way through the Tourist to find Winn, wanting to see him.]
[ when kitty's away - winn worries. sascha's out now, which means he's sascha again but he could turn back into the sheol without a second's warning and that troubles him deeply. what if next time, he's turned back without sascha's memories, without the emotions that kept the sheol's restraint? how can he know? there has to be some measurement, some sign from his augment or his vitals that they can track that could alert them to another malfunction.
she'll find him sitting in his room, trying to get a read - any sort of read - from his augment. that thing has to be transmitting something!
he jumps to his feet when she comes in, still jumpy and anxious from his attack, but visibly relaxes when he sees who it is. ]
Hi -- so where'd you en up going? [ he catches the look in her eyes, and his smile drops, his heart free falls to the pit of his stomach. ] ...what's wrong?
she'll find him sitting in his room, trying to get a read - any sort of read - from his augment. that thing has to be transmitting something!
he jumps to his feet when she comes in, still jumpy and anxious from his attack, but visibly relaxes when he sees who it is. ]
Hi -- so where'd you en up going? [ he catches the look in her eyes, and his smile drops, his heart free falls to the pit of his stomach. ] ...what's wrong?
Hug first. [In case he won't give them out after he hears. But also just because she could use it. And he probably could too. She slides her arms around him.]
I um... I went to check on him. [She's a little afraid to even say his name in front of Winn.]
I um... I went to check on him. [She's a little afraid to even say his name in front of Winn.]
[ he returns the hug, but stiffens at her confession.
he was expecting it to happen, sooner or later. he just expected to know before...kitty's always put such a great overwhelming importance to honesty - and yet it feels like she's always telling I wasn't hiding it from you after the fact, instead of just telling him beforehand. it stings, but he swallows it down the way he does most everything else. ]
How'd it go. [ his voice sounds foreign to him. at least it keeps it calm. ]
he was expecting it to happen, sooner or later. he just expected to know before...kitty's always put such a great overwhelming importance to honesty - and yet it feels like she's always telling I wasn't hiding it from you after the fact, instead of just telling him beforehand. it stings, but he swallows it down the way he does most everything else. ]
How'd it go. [ his voice sounds foreign to him. at least it keeps it calm. ]
[She usually isn't hiding it from him! But this time she was. This was intentional. She needed to see Sascha and didn't want to leave Winn in a state where he'd be even more worried than he would be by her just being gone.]
He's really him again. Oh Winn... He's so small and broken and afraid.
He's really him again. Oh Winn... He's so small and broken and afraid.
[ it's really hard not to take that as an accusation, so he takes in a breath, and lets it out, repeating jim's words in his own head.
he cares about sascha, he does. a lot. but he's feeling small and broken and afraid himself and he's in no state to offer comfort, but he tries. the absurdity of his situation is almost comical. maybe this really is reality show after all, if no one's watching, it's just horribly wasted. ]
I bet seeing you helped.
he cares about sascha, he does. a lot. but he's feeling small and broken and afraid himself and he's in no state to offer comfort, but he tries. the absurdity of his situation is almost comical. maybe this really is reality show after all, if no one's watching, it's just horribly wasted. ]
I bet seeing you helped.
[Accusation? What?] I hope so.
At first he just backed away from me repeating that he was sorry. He put his hands over his head like I was going to hit him.
At first he just backed away from me repeating that he was sorry. He put his hands over his head like I was going to hit him.
[ it's what happened with him that's probably making sascha the most miserable. and while he talked to the sheol about it, he's yet to contact sascha. he can't bring himself to do it, because he doesn't know if he has it in him to give sascha what he needs. he can't tell him he's not afraid - because he is, and his actions will show it. and if sascha tries to tackle him, as he used to (which he never liked) - he doesn't trust himself not to scream. sascha's small and broken and afraid - and he's sitting here and not doing anything about it. ]
And then? [ he's letting her talk because she needs to, but staying detached himself. because he needs to. ]
And then? [ he's letting her talk because she needs to, but staying detached himself. because he needs to. ]
[She knows this has to be hard for Winn too. She just didn't want to keep it from him any more than she already did. And she believes in his good heart. But she also doesn't want to put too much weight on him. Like he said. He's not a superhero. Whatever that means. As if people with powers are just naturally better at this. She definitely doesn't feel better at this.]
I told him it wasn't his fault and tried to comfort him. He was afraid we'd all hate him now.
I told him it wasn't his fault and tried to comfort him. He was afraid we'd all hate him now.
[ it's less about the powers and more about the being used to deal with the constant peril. winn's not used to being in danger. yes, some bad things have happened to him, but on the day to day he just sits behind his computer. he hasn't developed coping mechanisms to having his life constantly threatened yet. he's not sure he wants to find out who he'll be once he does.
it's difficult to be there for someone else when you're jumping at every little noise. ]
And you told him we don't.
[ don't ask me to go over there he quietly begs. please, ask me anything but to go over there. he can't, he's not ready. ]
it's difficult to be there for someone else when you're jumping at every little noise. ]
And you told him we don't.
[ don't ask me to go over there he quietly begs. please, ask me anything but to go over there. he can't, he's not ready. ]
Of course. [She nuzzles a little against his neck.]
I also told him he can't come to the Windrose or the Tourist unless someone invites him but that he can call me anytime he wants. [Asking Winn to see him or even talk to him is the last thing on her mind.]
I also told him he can't come to the Windrose or the Tourist unless someone invites him but that he can call me anytime he wants. [Asking Winn to see him or even talk to him is the last thing on her mind.]
What? Why are you sorry? [She pulls back enough to look at him, gently smoothing back his hair.]
No. [She rests her hand on his cheek and looks into his eyes if he'll let her.] Winn, this is not your fault. You have the biggest heart of anyone I know and it needs time to heal.
[She loves Sascha a lot. She loves Winn even more. And she wants to make it better for both of them.]
[She loves Sascha a lot. She loves Winn even more. And she wants to make it better for both of them.]
Edited 2016-08-21 16:06 (UTC)
[ it takes a little prompting, but he lets her. it may be illogical, but he really needed to hear that, that kitty doesn't blame him. it doesn't stop him from blaming himself or worrying that deep down, if he takes too long, she'll start to resent him - but it's still something he needed to hear. ]
Can he even understand any of this? [ it feels like pushing away a child, like causing irreparable damage. he doesn't want this on his conscience, but there it sits all the same. ]
Can he even understand any of this? [ it feels like pushing away a child, like causing irreparable damage. he doesn't want this on his conscience, but there it sits all the same. ]
[She shakes her head.] I think he just knows he did bad things and feels terrible about them. He knows he remembered his past, but he can't remember what he remembered.
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