[The words are soft and the smile that follows them is not; sharp and glinting and self-assured, because using words for weapons is Kurt's comfort zone.] I hunted down the man who killed my wife. I teleported a shark into his gut and stood over him while it tore his innards to shreds.
His death rattle was the most beautiful thing I've ever heard, and by God I don't regret an instant of it. [The regret comes from what he did to achieve that end, literally stabbing Wolverine in the back and abandoning X-Force. He'd intended to rejoin them, never intended for Logan to be forced to kill his own son, but.] He wasn't the first death I enjoyed, and he won't be the last. I learned long ago that if I wanted to keep my sanity, I had to find a way to take joy in the blood we spilled.
So, knowing that about me, look me in the eye and tell me you still believe everything you just said.
[ god, that's horrific. and it's hard, hard to keep his composure through it, impossible not to be afraid. but at the same time, he knows this move. the say whatever you have to to be left alone and be proven right so you can go back to wallow in peace, a classic. and everything he's heard about kitty and kurt's world - it tells him he has no right to judge. it's not "just" losing the person you love, it's losing everything, over and over again, every day. no one could live by his standards in a world like that, not even him, who knows what he would've become if he lived there. heck, even on his relatively safe earth it's not always avoidable. ]
You said it yourself - you had to keep your sanity somehow. Circumstances shape us. Circumstances have changed. You don't have to do that anymore.
[The cruelty in Kurt's grin fades into sadness, the sharpness dulled by regret for lashing out and a renewed pang of missing Sascha. For all his kind heart, they were both monsters in a way he hopes Winn never has to be.]
But I do. Only the dead have seen the end of war, and to win it you will need someone to do horrible things in the dark. And I am good at those things; just like my mother.
[Pressing his lips together, Kurt drops his line of sight to his own tail, twitching restlessly over the corner of his bed.] I promised you I would be as happy as I can. But the safety of my crew and our fellow captives will always come first.
It's not one or the other. There are a lot of different ways to win a war and anyway - I think this one's gonna be a battle of wits - they've got all the physical cards, with these stupid augments. We need to outsmart them to win, not outcruel them. You don't have to be...like anyone.
[ it's winn's turn to look conflicted. ]
I know what it's like, to feel like your family's darkest moments follow you around everywhere, taunting you, making you believe you're going to be a part of it one way or another...but you do have a choice now. We all have a choice. We're gonna win this as ourselves.
[Kurt lowers his head, line of sight firmly on his own hands, dangling between his knees. To some extent he can identify and be comforted by Winn's reassurances; both the people he considered his parents have done monstrous things. His mother fleeced refugees of all their worldly belongings in exchange for safety. Victor joined Apocalypse, only leaving because he didn't feel using nuclear weapons against the humans was fair. And then there's Azazel, who he knew as Weapon Omega's minister of death and nothing else until coming here.
But Victor did leave, bringing with him a young woman who'd been nearly broken by Sugarman and McCoy, and stood with the X-Men until the very end. As for his mother? Kurt could speak all night about her contributions to the war and be listing them well into morning.]
I think, when I'm not so upset over the losses, I should speak with you again about my mother. I've given you a horrible impression of her, and the best comparison I can think of still would. Women like her in movies were always the downfall of men, never the heroes. Which says something about the men writing those scripts, I think.
[ he nods, and even offers kurt a ghost of a smile - he's not sure what that conversation will bring, but whatever she did, kurt clearly still cares deeply for his mother. if she's important to him - of course winn will listen. ]
I'd like that.
[ there's a little huff of almost laughter at his point on cinemas. ] Yeah, if you ever wanna her in great detail exactly what, talk to Kara about it.
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[action]
[The words are soft and the smile that follows them is not; sharp and glinting and self-assured, because using words for weapons is Kurt's comfort zone.] I hunted down the man who killed my wife. I teleported a shark into his gut and stood over him while it tore his innards to shreds.
His death rattle was the most beautiful thing I've ever heard, and by God I don't regret an instant of it. [The regret comes from what he did to achieve that end, literally stabbing Wolverine in the back and abandoning X-Force. He'd intended to rejoin them, never intended for Logan to be forced to kill his own son, but.] He wasn't the first death I enjoyed, and he won't be the last. I learned long ago that if I wanted to keep my sanity, I had to find a way to take joy in the blood we spilled.
So, knowing that about me, look me in the eye and tell me you still believe everything you just said.
[action]
You said it yourself - you had to keep your sanity somehow. Circumstances shape us. Circumstances have changed. You don't have to do that anymore.
[action]
But I do. Only the dead have seen the end of war, and to win it you will need someone to do horrible things in the dark. And I am good at those things; just like my mother.
[Pressing his lips together, Kurt drops his line of sight to his own tail, twitching restlessly over the corner of his bed.] I promised you I would be as happy as I can. But the safety of my crew and our fellow captives will always come first.
[action]
It's not one or the other. There are a lot of different ways to win a war and anyway - I think this one's gonna be a battle of wits - they've got all the physical cards, with these stupid augments. We need to outsmart them to win, not outcruel them. You don't have to be...like anyone.
[ it's winn's turn to look conflicted. ]
I know what it's like, to feel like your family's darkest moments follow you around everywhere, taunting you, making you believe you're going to be a part of it one way or another...but you do have a choice now. We all have a choice. We're gonna win this as ourselves.
Re: [action]
But Victor did leave, bringing with him a young woman who'd been nearly broken by Sugarman and McCoy, and stood with the X-Men until the very end. As for his mother? Kurt could speak all night about her contributions to the war and be listing them well into morning.]
I think, when I'm not so upset over the losses, I should speak with you again about my mother. I've given you a horrible impression of her, and the best comparison I can think of still would. Women like her in movies were always the downfall of men, never the heroes. Which says something about the men writing those scripts, I think.
[action]
I'd like that.
[ there's a little huff of almost laughter at his point on cinemas. ] Yeah, if you ever wanna her in great detail exactly what, talk to Kara about it.