I don't think you'd let you hurt someone. And...I don't know if this is the thing you need to hear right now or if it even makes sense. I have kind of a...skewed background. But hurting someone isn't the wrong thing to do if it's your only option to save others. It doesn't feel good. It shouldn't, but... [She takes a breath. Is she just trying to justify actions she shouldn't have taken here? She still feels like she was making the right choices back then under the circumstances though.]
I hope it's not a situation you find yourself in, but I trust you to make the right call if you do and to still be you and not him.
[ her faith in him is overwhelming and he's just out of words.
he holds her tight.
in the world she grew up in -- he can't say that she's wrong. it doesn't look like that world ever gives anyone another choice, much as he wants to believe there always is one. but even so, what he's willing to excuse for her and for kara is entirely different from what he's willing to accept of himself. double standards all the way. ]
[Before this conversation if they had been in a place like this she would have just contently held him, trusting they were on the same page and all was well and it was just time for quiet and touch. She can't do that now. Not when she realizes he's been holding back with her, maybe for awhile.]
Hey... Say something. I can't know what you're thinking when you don't.
I love you. [ his voice is honest, and grateful, and a little choked up. ]
And I really hope you didn't just change your mind, cuz in that case I just made things awkward -
[ joke? yes? he can practically hear the soap-opera-ish dramatic music in the background, there have been far too much expression of feelings on his part for his comfort. ]
[ oh google, lord of the internet. you may be far, but you are almighty! hear his prayer now - please don't let him cry like a little girl right now. he may have reached the line of what his pride could handle.
he nods earnestly. ]
Honestly you may have kinda created a monster here because I have been repressing this for literally my entire adult life and I love you, and I love being with you, and being with you - but this is the best release I've ever gotten and -- that sounded really wrong after the last thing I mentioned - I don't mean that - you know what, maybe you don't need every thought, right? Please shut me up now -
[ she called it on day one: he talks a lot when he's nervous. though right now, it's the best kind of nervous energy he's had in a long time. ]
[She cups his face between her hands and leans in intent on following his instructions to shut him up even though she really likes hearing these things. But she can be his outlet for some of that nervous energy.
Whatever worries she was holding onto going into this talk have been released again and she relaxes into the kiss, pouring her affection and love for him into it.]
[ he returns the kiss, feeling lighter and happier than he would've thought he had any right to be before this conversation.
he's angry that kitty wasn't there his whole life - that she didn't live hers in the relative safety of his world. but that's alright. he can use that now, use that anger to motivate him, to make this as right as possible, so they could live out the rest of their lives having all the things they were deprived of before. ]
I love you. [It needed to be said again. So why not fit in between kisses?] I'm glad to help with all of your releases. [Which can sound as heartfelt or dirty as you want really. Both apply.]
[She smiles. This is a happy kind of attention. Has he already figured out she really likes it when you kiss her neck? Smart boy. It makes it hard to think of words and things that aren't this so maybe she'll just tilt her head back and let it be this now.] Good team.
[ he's a very smart boy, and when it comes to kitty - a very dedicated and attentive student. ]
Great team.
[ he mumbles his consent into her neck. this is good. after all the emotions that have been shoving each other out of the driver seat in the past 10 minutes - the simplicity of this is perfect. ]
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Action
I hope it's not a situation you find yourself in, but I trust you to make the right call if you do and to still be you and not him.
Action
he holds her tight.
in the world she grew up in -- he can't say that she's wrong. it doesn't look like that world ever gives anyone another choice, much as he wants to believe there always is one. but even so, what he's willing to excuse for her and for kara is entirely different from what he's willing to accept of himself. double standards all the way. ]
Action
Hey... Say something. I can't know what you're thinking when you don't.
Action
I love you. [ his voice is honest, and grateful, and a little choked up. ]
And I really hope you didn't just change your mind, cuz in that case I just made things awkward -
[ joke? yes? he can practically hear the soap-opera-ish dramatic music in the background, there have been far too much expression of feelings on his part for his comfort. ]
Action
Of course I haven't changed my mind, but I need you to be honest with me even when it's hard. I want to be with you. The real you. All of you.
Action
he nods earnestly. ]
Honestly you may have kinda created a monster here because I have been repressing this for literally my entire adult life and I love you, and I love being with you, and being with you - but this is the best release I've ever gotten and -- that sounded really wrong after the last thing I mentioned - I don't mean that - you know what, maybe you don't need every thought, right? Please shut me up now -
[ she called it on day one: he talks a lot when he's nervous. though right now, it's the best kind of nervous energy he's had in a long time. ]
Action
Whatever worries she was holding onto going into this talk have been released again and she relaxes into the kiss, pouring her affection and love for him into it.]
Action
he's angry that kitty wasn't there his whole life - that she didn't live hers in the relative safety of his world. but that's alright. he can use that now, use that anger to motivate him, to make this as right as possible, so they could live out the rest of their lives having all the things they were deprived of before. ]
Action
Action
he laughs, almost giddy, and kisses his way down to her neck ]
Likewise.
Action
Action
Great team.
[ he mumbles his consent into her neck. this is good. after all the emotions that have been shoving each other out of the driver seat in the past 10 minutes - the simplicity of this is perfect. ]