[ he nods at the first part. at first, that's what he told himself - it's just kitty. it's just because it's kitty, and he's so in love with her. maybe he's that in love with her, maybe he really just evolved that far beyond caring about her body - of course he didn't. when he really stopped to think about it, maybe the way he's always noticed how good looking other men are should have tipped him off, but he focused all his energy on envying them, not desiring them. a defense mechanism, maybe?
very slowly, his eyes move slightly upwards at that tap. he agrees and disagrees; jim doesn't look like a target. he's cool, he's good looking, he's smart, he's confident, and he knows how to take care of himself. jim's not the kind of guy people go after.
but it's true that people are different here, and he's not a scared little kid anymore. he's got friends - a lot of friends. but they can't always protect him, that's the whole reason behind their lessons. and as much as he likes to think that everyone on the fleet is good and kind unless the atroma messes with them, the truth is that's just not true.
he keeps the argument in his own head. he knows jim's advice - or at least thinks he does. you can't live your life in fear. what does that mean, though? how do you do it? ]
I feel like everybody knows, and everybody's looking at me different. [ which is mostly in his head and he knows it - but things that exist in your own head shape your reality. it's real to him. worst of all, he's scared kitty might be seeing him differently now. ]
no subject
very slowly, his eyes move slightly upwards at that tap. he agrees and disagrees; jim doesn't look like a target. he's cool, he's good looking, he's smart, he's confident, and he knows how to take care of himself. jim's not the kind of guy people go after.
but it's true that people are different here, and he's not a scared little kid anymore. he's got friends - a lot of friends. but they can't always protect him, that's the whole reason behind their lessons. and as much as he likes to think that everyone on the fleet is good and kind unless the atroma messes with them, the truth is that's just not true.
he keeps the argument in his own head. he knows jim's advice - or at least thinks he does. you can't live your life in fear. what does that mean, though? how do you do it? ]
I feel like everybody knows, and everybody's looking at me different. [ which is mostly in his head and he knows it - but things that exist in your own head shape your reality. it's real to him. worst of all, he's scared kitty might be seeing him differently now. ]