I know. [he looks at Winn before he glances down at his hands, clenching in his lap] It's not - it's not that I don't think you can handle it.
[it's that it's so fresh in his mind despite being weeks ago that even thinking too long about it makes it hard to breathe, makes it so he wants to go hover around Charles and Raven and even Erik until he can shove the panic back down.
He doesn't want to go into details. He doesn't want relive Cairo all over again, like he'd done as soon as he'd woken up. He doesn't want to see Winn's reaction to a single name that would explain everything all too clearly.
So, he settles on a compromise]
We - I - we almost lost everything. Charles, Raven, Peter - Erik - [in a way, briefly, they had] We - did lose Alex, because he's an idiot— [his throat tightens up and he shakes his head. That's one particular part he hadn't dealt with back home and he certainly wasn't ready to do it here]
I can't - I can't talk about all of it just yet. But I promise - when I can, I will. When I get my head on straight.
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momijizukamori and
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Date: 2016-09-04 05:21 am (UTC)[it's that it's so fresh in his mind despite being weeks ago that even thinking too long about it makes it hard to breathe, makes it so he wants to go hover around Charles and Raven and even Erik until he can shove the panic back down.
He doesn't want to go into details. He doesn't want relive Cairo all over again, like he'd done as soon as he'd woken up. He doesn't want to see Winn's reaction to a single name that would explain everything all too clearly.
So, he settles on a compromise]
We - I - we almost lost everything. Charles, Raven, Peter - Erik - [in a way, briefly, they had] We - did lose Alex, because he's an idiot— [his throat tightens up and he shakes his head. That's one particular part he hadn't dealt with back home and he certainly wasn't ready to do it here]
I can't - I can't talk about all of it just yet. But I promise - when I can, I will. When I get my head on straight.