[ there's so much of him pushing it, that it's impossible to untangle it enough to find a start. ]

Do you know what it's like to feel helpless? [ he continues, as if he doesn't expect jim to be familiar with such a feeling. ] To have the one thing you have to contribute just -- be completely stripped away? If I don't find a new thing, then what the hell is the point of me?

[ he's always had an identity: the computer guy, the genius hacker, the guy who could work out any problem.

who is he now? the guy who bangs his head against the wall, figuring out a whole lot of nothing? who the hell wants to be friends with that guy? ]